Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done when a 21-year-old girl walked in wearing a low-cut blouse that revealed the tattoo of a rose on one breast.
One woman leaned over to the other and whispered. “Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket!”
A man in his eighties went to the doctor for his annual health check-up. He told the doctor: “I'm getting really forgetful. I forget where I live, I forget where I've parked my car, and I go into shops and I can't remember what it is that I want. And when I do get to the checkout, I find I've forgotten my wallet. It's getting pretty bad, doc. What can I do?”
The doctor thought for a moment and said: “Pay me in advance.”
Asked by a reporter how he had managed to live to the age of 100, an old man explained: 'Well, son, I got married when I was 21. The wife and I decided that if ever we argued the loser should take a long walk to cool off. So I guess I've benefited from 79 years of exercise and fresh air."
An elderly couple is sitting quietly on the porch in their rocking chairs. The old man suddenly reached across and slapped his wife in the face.
“What was that for?” she demanded.
“That's for 40 years of lousy sex!”
She didn't say anything, but a few minutes later, she slapped him back.
“What was that for?” he cried.
“That's for knowing the difference!"
Two old men were talking about their distant youths. One said: “Can you remember the name of the first woman you ever kissed?”
His friend answered: “I can't even remember the name of the last one!"
Hard work never killed anyone
-but why take a chance?
Live Long and Prosper...