Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Vampire for President in 2012

I am truly sorry but I just could not resist blogging about this story. It seems that we already have 76 people who have filed to run for President of the United States in 2012. Apparently they feel the way the things like the economy and jobs and spending and foreign policy are going just about anyone will be able to beat Barak Obama. Enter Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, the Vampire who’s running for President. You have to understand that many people have a problem with our two-party electorate system. They feel that the parties make it impossible for anyone without longstanding political connections to ever have a chance of getting elected and the prominence of those parties’ means that Independent candidates are basically just wasting their time. Frankly, one must wonder there isn’t some truth to that when half of our Presidents seem to be related to each other. Well it seems not everyone feels you can’t beat the system. Here’s a story about a 2012 hopeful who thinks he’s a vampire (yeah, I said vampire).

ABC News took a look at the 76 people who have already filled out paperwork to run in the upcoming Presidential election. There was one really interesting one that, for me at least, really stood out, Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey. Sharkey is a vampire. You can tell because he wears dark clothes and sunglasses and besides, “The Impaler” hasn’t been a popular nickname in like forever.

ABC News has some information about Sharkey’s positions and background:
“‘Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled,’ said Sharkey. ‘Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I’ll beat them, torture them, dismember them and decapitate them.’
Sharkey says the he drinks the blood of his ‘girlfriends and mistresses’ two times a week and when asked if he believes he has a chance of being elected responded, ‘Yes, I have a chance of winning. People like Sarah Palin are making it quite easy to pull off.’”

Ah, Sarah Palin, she just does not realize how inspirational she can be…

Now, don’t take this as an endorsement of a political candidate, but isn’t it about time we had a challenger who we knew wouldn’t go soft on werewolves and the growing Werewolfization of America. Just the other day, I read that there were plans to put a Lycanthrope temple a few blocks away from Ground Zero. Is nothing sacred?

Besides Sharkey actually has some political experience too. He ran for Senate in Minnesota back in 2006. O.K., maybe I was wrong --maybe he was the one who inspired Palin and not the other way around? --Excuse me now, I need to go find  cross and some garlic....

Marijuana Soft Drink Coming

Since this seems to be a good day to report the unusual, here is a story you might also enjoy: Medical marijuana soft drinks are coming, according to a California entrepreneur.

Clay Butler said he plans to use his marketing skills, branding and a variety of flavors to make his product, which contains the psychoactive marijuana ingredient THC, into “a hit.”

His flagship cola drink will be named 'Canna Cola' and he will also make a Dr. Pepper-like variety called 'Doc Weed', a lemon-lime version called 'Sour Diesel', a grape-flavored version called 'Grape Ape' and an orange-flavored variety called 'Orange Kush'.

Before you run out for a six-pack, you should be know that a single 12-ounce bottle will cost $10 to $15. –I can hear about a dozen of you sighing as saying to yourselves, “only in California” (and you’re right).

Live Long and Prosper....

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