Monday, February 28, 2011

Oops, Monkey Brain Attack!

Yes, I am suffering from Monkey Brain again today so buckle your seat belt and let’s see where it leads….

First up is Senator Harry Reid, our Senate Majority Leader. This week they are on vacation from the Senate for Presidents Day (yeah, I know, we are lucky if we get one day off and our Senate takes the whole week, with pay!). Anyway, I guess he did not have anything better to do, so he decided to drop by the Nevada State Legislature and give them the benefit of his supreme wisdom. He told then that the way to fix Nevada’s budget problems was not by raising or lowering taxes either one. It also was not by increasing nor reducing regulations, and it was not even by asking the Fed’s for a bail out. According to Harry the time has come to abolish prostitution. It seems those darned prostitutes are the root of all Nevada’s economic woes!
“Nevada needs to be known as the first place for innovation and investment – not the last place where prostitution is still legal. When the nation thinks about Nevada, it should think about the world’s newest ideas and newest careers – not about its oldest profession. . . . If we want to attract business to Nevada that puts people back to work, the time has come to outlaw prostitution.”

Well, go figure…I guess all those college classmates and business associates going to Nevada all these years really were going just for the gambling….
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Speaking of Senators, out in California Senator Barbara Boxer (you know, the one that told the Army General not to call her “Mam” because she worked hard to earn the title ‘Senator’…) is nervous about the current Federal Ban on Offshore Drilling. You see, California has a budget deficit in the billions of dollars and people have begun pointing out that drilling would solve several problems. It would make the country less dependent on Middle Eastern oil, it would generate revenues for both the Federal Government and the State Government, and it would help keep the price of gas lower for us commoner’s type folks…. But no, Barbara wants nothing to do with all that logical argument stuff… She feels drilling will mean oil rigs ruining the seascapes and endangering the Sardinops sagax (Pacific Sardines). So for her first proposed legislation since her re-election, she is proposing a law to make drilling along the California Coast permanently illegal. Wow, what a great idea! Ahmadinejad jumped right in to support this one! It does my heart good to know we have such clear thinking people writing our laws. The rumor is that next month she is going to propose legislation to make it illegal for the moon to come out in day light because it is a waste of natural resources….

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Oh, oh…here’s a good one. Do you remember Jimmy McMillan? No? Well, he the founder of “The Rent Is Too Damned High Party” who gained national attention when he ran for Governor of New York last fall. It turns out that Jimmy has decided to throw his hat in the ring for President this time. One interesting part is that he has decided to leave the Democrats and run as a Republican. Newt Gingrich should be happy when he hears this quote:

“I didn’t get what I needed. The Democratic Party sucked. They’re using Barack Obama to get the young people to vote Democratic and they have no plans to help the people. It’s the same party that controlled the Congress for 40 years from 1994 down. 40 years they had control. And, from 1995, Republicans have been in office, they just don’t know what to do. I do. I’m here to help them.”

Live Long and Prosper....

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