Sunday, October 21, 2012

A Little from the Files of the Incredibly Stupid

A 14-year-old boy was hospitalized in critical condition in August after allegedly swiping a Jeep Grand Cherokee and leading the owner's boyfriend on a brief high-speed chase before rolling the Cherokee over on an Interstate. The boy's mother blamed the Cherokee's owner: A vehicle with the keys in it, she said, "was an opportunity that, in a 14-year-old's eyes, was ... the perfect moment." Also, she said, the boyfriend "had no right to chase my son." The boy "could have just wanted a joyride down the street. Maybe he merely wanted to go farther than he felt like walking." (maybe a little exercise would have been better for the boy. -I'm just saying...)

Ohio death-row inmate Ronald Post, 53, asked a federal court in September to cancel his January date with destiny on the grounds that, despite almost 30 years of prison food, he's still too fat to execute. At 480 pounds, "vein access" and other issues would cause his lethal injection to be "torturous." (my,
hurting him while we are killing him...we can't have that, now can we...)

British murderer-sadist Graham Fisher, 39, is locked up in a high-security hospital in Berkshire, England, but he, too, has been eating well (at about 325 pounds). In August, he was approved for gastric-band surgery paid for by Britain's National Health Service at an estimated cost, including a private room for post-op recuperation, of about $25,000 (yep, the public should definitely use their tax dollars to make this man look better --say, are you sure this wasn't in California?).

Richard Wagner Jones, running for a school board seat in Granite, Utah, told reporters in June that since the job is mainly about taxes and budgets, he would not have to make site visits to schools. -That is fortunate, because Jones is barred from schools as a registered sex offender based on a 1990 conviction!

Mike Rios, a former school board member in Moreno Valley, Calif., said in August that he was still considering running for the town's council despite his March arrest for attempted murder and April arrest for pimping (allegedly caught with several underage recruits).

And finally for today (because enough is enough):

Brazil has a robust democracy but with very few controls on what candidates may call themselves on ballots. Among those running for offices this election season, according to a September New York Times dispatch from Rio de Janeiro: "John Kennedy Abreu Sousa," "Jimmi Carter Santarem Barroso," "Ladi Gaga," "Christ of Jerusalem," a "Macgaiver," five "Batmans," two "James Bonds," and 16 people whose name contains "Obama." "It's a marketing strategy," said city council candidate Geraldo Custodio, who apparently likes his chances better as "Geraldo Wolverine."

Live Long and Prosper...

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