Monday, July 8, 2013

A Little Humor Today

The Navy may be becoming a little too politically correct:

....based on the new correspondence manual you'll want to be non-gender specific: 

Seaman is now seaperson 

Man the rails is now people the rails 

Man Aloft is now just working aloft 

Mannheim Steamroller is now Personheim Steamrollit 

Manning battle stations is now just populating critical need stations. (Battle has such strong male connotations...). 

The Gangway shall become group causeway so as not to offend the sensibilities of, well, gangs. 

A ship can no longer be referred to as "she." Example: "Look at the lines on that frigate--she really rides well, huh?!" 

becomes: "Notice the lines on that vessel--it is very seaworthy isn't it?" 

The reproduction machine will hence be the duplicate purveyor. 

No more breast line. 

PETA has asked that we stop hurting camels during mooring. 

DCPOs will stop using the MHC designation. Now they'll simply be Covers With Lots of Bolts (CWLB) 

No more screwdrivers--regular or special. 

Man Overboard is history. Just say "Someone fell over the side!" 

Mess b-!-t-c-h and mess c-r-a-n-k are no longer correct. Just say Food Utensil Cleanliness Ass't. (FUCA). Example: "Hey FUCA, we're outta milk again!" 

 Live Long and Prosper...

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