Communications released by US Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95
Americans: Please divert your course by 15 degrees North to avoid collision.
Canadians: Recommend YOU divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South.
Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, YOU divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT IS ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse, your call.
Husband to wife: "Honey, do you have anything to say before football season starts?"
Live Long and Prosper...