Monday, April 21, 2014

When it’s Cold…

A little weather humor to remember winter by…....
60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.
50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.
45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
40 degrees - You can see your breath.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.
35 degrees - Italian cars don't start.
32 degrees - Water freezes.
30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 degrees - Ohio water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
15 degrees - French cars don't start.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees - American cars don't start.
0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 degrees - German cars don't start.
Eyes freeze shut when you step outside.
-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.
-25 degrees - Too cold to think.

You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath.
Swedish cars don't start.
-40 degrees - Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweater.
Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 degrees - Polar bears move South.
Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 - degrees - Hell freezes over.
Clinton finally tells all

Today's Reflection:
Here's to a temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with--
And me not there at all!

Live Long and Prosper...

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