Drunk Logic: Wendy Simpson, 25, explaining her DUI arrest during a March incident in Huddersfield, England, pointed out that she had just minutes earlier walked to a McDonald's for a late-night meal because she knew she was too inebriated to drive. However, the dining room was closed, and she was refused service at the drive-thru window because she was on foot, and, she said, the only option left for her was to go home, get her car and return to the drive-thru. On the way back, she was arrested.
Politician: Efren Carrillo, a member of the board of supervisors of California's Sonoma County, was charged with misdemeanor "peeking" last year in Santa Rosa after he, returning home from a club late at night, saw his female neighbor's light on and decided to drop in on her (though he did not even know her name). He had knocked at her back patio door, carrying beers, but was dressed awkwardly, leading the woman to call 911. "In retrospect," the county supervisor told police afterward, "I should have had my pants on" (instead of just his socks and underwear).
Handsome: Among the arguments offered in March by Darrious Mathis' lawyers for his jury trial in Cobb County, Georgia, (for assault, kidnapping and carjacking) was the assertion that Mathis needed no force in order to have sex with the female victim on the night in question -- because Mathis is such a good-looking man. (However, the jury was not so dazzled and convicted him on all charges.)
My Favorite: A columnist for the Egyptian newspaper Al-Yawm Al-Sabi proposed in March that Egypt sue Israel in international court for reparations for the 10 Biblical plagues cast from Hebrew curses, including boils, lice, locusts and turning the Nile River into blood. Ahmad al-Gamal asserted that Israelites swiped gold, silver and other precious items as they began their legendary desert wandering. Al-Gamal also wants reparations from Turkey (for the 16th-century Ottoman invasion), France (for Napoleon's invasion in 1798), and Britain (for 72 years of occupation).
"You gotta live, baby -because dying's a pain in the ass..." -Frank Sinatra
Live Long and Prosper...