Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Marriage: A Man's Viewpoint

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked:
"What's on the TV?" I said: "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested. Then God created
woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman
shopping on Rodeo Drive and said:
"I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said:
"God, I wish I had your will power."

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?:
Two mothers-in-law.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in
some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his
wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
"Wife Wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your
wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

How do men define marriage?:
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no
faults at all.

If you want your wife to listen and pay
undivided attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

Then there was a man who said: "I never knew
what real happiness was until I got married;
and then it was too late."

A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how
much does it cost to get married?" And the
father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still

Today's Reflection:
A real friend is the one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out...

Live Long and Prosper...

No comments: