A boater writing to his insurance company about an accident that occurred while he was working on his sailboat:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
I am a sailboat owner, and on the day of the accident I was working alone at the top of my 60-foot mast. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the mast, brought up about 200 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley which was attached at the top of the mast.
Securing the rope at deck level, I went to the top of the mast and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the deck of the boat and untied the rope, holding tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 200 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds.
Due to my surprise of being jerked off the deck so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the mast. In the vicinity of the 30 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the deck and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 10 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the mast. In the vicinity of the 30 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 60 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope.
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Live Long and Prosper...