Wednesday, September 7, 2016

"Blue Necks"

Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some
takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or
how Northerners sometimes think of themselves):


Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all,"
you call them "you guys," even if both of them are

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

You would never stop to buy something somebody was
cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled

You don't have any problems pronouncing
"Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-Au-gratin to

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never had an RC Cola.

You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows
you've seen are on road trips.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on
your dog.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than
grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato

You have never planned your summer vacation around a
gun-'n-knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific
research at your university than to pay the salary of
the head football coach.

You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around
the house.

The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone
from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise
feed stores.

You have more than one professional sports team in
your home state.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over
to the side of the road and stopping.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names
(i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba
Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).

You don't know any women with male names (i.e.,
Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie).

You don't have Maw-maw's and Pawpaw's.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to

None of your fur coats are homemade.

Today's Reflection:
 Life is sexually transmitted
Live Long and Prosper...

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