A Man's Explanation for a Happy Marriage

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York.

3. I take my wife everywhere. She, however, keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread  maker. Then she complained, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit  down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water  in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost  weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell  off.

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the  garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

Today's Reflection:
Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.

 Live Long and Prosper...