Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The GOP Primary -otherwise known as the Running of the Clowns

The question I hear on everybody's lips these days is: "Who do you like in the Republican Primary?"

Well, let's think about that for a minute.

Who would be the right choice to be the next President of the United States? The Mormon who mandated health care in Massachusetts? The converted Catholic who was forced to resign as Speaker of the House over a $300,000 scandal? One of the 3 born-again Christians who think that separation of church and state means a separate entrance for the Senate Chapel, "non-denominational" means "Protestant" and masturbation is a form of abortion? Or, maybe the Libertarian who thinks the Iranians should get a nuclear weapon because it'll make their neighbors respect them more and lead to a more peaceful Middle East?

After careful consideration, I guess I'd have to say -none of them, are you sure Chris Christie can't be forced at gun-point to run (he does support the 2nd amendment after all)?

I have a question on this subject, if I may.

With this selection of people running for the nations highest office, and probably to become the most powerful person on the face of the earth, just what the hell is the matter with us? Have we lost our flipp'n minds? Personally, I think we'd be better off taking some of the hard earned tax money -you know, the billions we are sending to Africa to buy Mosquito Netting, and put it all into research. We could to find a way to get DNA from George Washington and see of we can clone him. Now him I'd vote for...

OK, can't do that either. Well, let's see. I know, how about taking the Presidency and dividing it into three parts. We could elect Romney -President of the economy, Ginrich -President of Foriegn Policy and Paul -President of Social Issues. Bachman can be the Congressional Spiritual Adviser (provided that attendance at her benedictions is not mandatory). How about that?

-Can't do that either? Damn. Well, I guess that means that at this point I'll have to abstain and wait until we get much closer to the convention before I have to hold my nose and declare my support of one of these clowns.

By-the-way, why is everyone so determined to win in Iowa? That primary has not chosen a Republican who went on to win the White House since they chose Gerald Ford over Ronald Regan.... Personally, if I were running, I'd kind of like to come in 2nd or 3rd in Iowa.

Hey, one good thing that is coming out of all this. We are certainly getting our money's worth in entertainment. There is not a day that passes without a new scandal or without someone saying something outrageous (and terribly Presidential) about somebody else in the running. I guess the smart thing to do, for now at least, is to sit back, grab a bag of popcorn, open a cold beer and enjoy the races.

Live Long and Prosper....

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