Tuesday, October 1, 2013

From the files of “That Ain’t Too Bright”

Only two states away from last year's mass shooting at an Aurora, Colorado, movieplex, management at the Goodrich Capital 8 Theaters in Jefferson City, Mo., hired a man dressed in full tactical gear and carrying guns resembling M-4 rifles and 9mm pistols to greet patrons for the opening of the new "Iron Man" movie. Police were not pleased by the barrage of frightened 911 callers who were fearful that Aurora was happening all over again. Capital 8 manager Bob Wilkins said that "hundreds" of customers were entertained by the publicity stunt and that "only a few" were upset. (I really think he should schedule an MRI, soon)

New York State Assemblyman Vito Lopez of Brooklyn was briefly a candidate for New York City mayor but withdrew in May, shortly after a state ethics commission accused him of various "unbecoming" behaviors, including pressuring female assistants to massage him, and at least one to feel the cancer-stricken Lopez's tumors on his neck, shoulder, and armpit. (Well, why not? Weiner is still running)

Philip Garcia, 41, was arrested in April in Perris, Calif., after he allegedly crawled naked through the doggy door in a neighboring home and announced to the female resident that he was there for sex. (Maybe he's getting ready to run for Mayor of New York too)

A 38-year-old man was arrested in Wichita, Kansas, and charged with trying to rob a Spangles restaurant by presenting a cashier with a demand note. He was arrested a short time later -- and easily, because the demand for money was written on the back of a check-reorder form that contained his name and address. 

Joseph Meacham, 39, fleeing on foot from a traffic stop, ran through town and decided to duck into a building for cover. He failed to realize, however, it was the St. Louis County Police Headquarters. He was found curled into a ball on the floor in a dead-end hallway, and promptly arrested. 

Are you ready to stop for today and go have a drink? Yeah, me too. Y’all have a good day! 

For Wayne

Today's Reflection:
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

On a Personal Note:
To all my friends who, for the past 8 weeks, have been telling me how wrong I was about saying that the Republicans and the Democrats would never come to a deal and that the government would shut down, it gives me great pleasure to say:

Live Long and Prosper....

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