Thursday, March 6, 2014

A couple of jokes to start the day…

Air Force One: 

Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Eric Holder are flying on Air Force One. 

Obama looks at Nancy, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Nancy shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Holder says, "Of course, I could throw a hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." 

The pilot looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.” 

10 Husbands and still a virgin:

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. 

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." 

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" 

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. 

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. 

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. 

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. 

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. 

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" 

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" 

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Today’s Reflection:
Wear short sleeves and support your right to bare arms!

Live Long and Prosper…

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