Saturday, March 8, 2014

Time for a smile and a chuckle or two…..

Proud Texan Father 

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!" 


The "Buffolo Theory" of Beer..
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you! 


Spent Paycheck

Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay check?

Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house.

Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $980?

Man: Twelve rounds of drinks. 
Today’s Reflection: 
If you want ‘special service’ at the restaurant, ask the waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.

 Live Long and Prosper…

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