Thursday, October 2, 2014

Let the Old Guys fight Terrorists!

Our military believes men over 60 are too old; people over 42 aren't even allowed to enlist. The opposite is true: older men are much better at combating terrorists.

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us much more time to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky – a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. We are impatient and letting us kill some asshole that deserves it could shut us up for a while.

18-year-olds don't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.

If captured we wouldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number can be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp is easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We also have an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

An 18-year-old has his whole life ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl and they're not bright enough to figure out that the brim on a baseball cap is for shading the eyes, not the back of his head.

Let the old guys track down those dirty rotten terrorists. The last thing an enemy wants to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them..... 

The military has know these things for years -why do you think so many Generals are old?

If nothing else, put them on border patrol! They will have it secured the first night!

Today's Reflection:
Life is sexually transmitted.

Live Long and Prosper...

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