Saturday, October 1, 2011

Another Monkey Brain Day –Oh Great

Yes, I’m afraid today I am suffering another attack of “Monkey Brain”. When these attacks happen there is really not much to be done but grab the coffee, hide the valuables and ride it out...

Monkey Brain, for those of you who are not familiar, is a condition first identified by a truly great (and Pulitzer Prize winning) columnist, Herb Caen. Like many other people living in San Francisco in the 70’s and 80’s, the morning could not go on until you had picked up the SF Chronicle and read the daily installment of Herb’s Column (in a rare example of fate, Herb's column appeared on the page opposite Snoopy, which nicely met my daily intellectual needs). 'Monkey Brain' is a condition that causes the brain to swing happily from subject to subject without rhyme or reason –a kind of anti-logical progression of cognizant thought (and borderline schizophrenia).

Steve Cuckovich
Well, let’s see, where do we start today's quest? How about the teacher in California that took 25 points off a students grade because, when a fellow student had the audacity to sneeze in class, the offending chap said “Bless You”. Yes, that’s all. Just “Bless You”. When a group of outraged parents complained to the school administration the teacher, Steve Cuckovich, explained that the practice of saying “Bless you” comes from ancient times when people thought evil spirits made you sneeze so they could get into your body. People said “God Bless you” to help ward them off. Today we don’t believe in that kind of silliness so saying “Bless you” is pointless. –Wow, there’s a teacher I’d like to have teaching manners and setting a role model for my kids….. They have not deiced what to do about this case yet –I’m hoping they make him read Emily Post and write “I will teach good manners” 100 times on the black board each night before he goes home…

Here’s an example of a man who thinks all those warning signs posted around are meant to keep the rabble back so he can enjoy himself. A 42 year old man (old enough to have known better, wouldn’t you say?) in Cape Town South Africa decided to go swimming. When he got to the beach he discovered numerous signs and flags saying the beach was closed because of shark sightings and the danger of being eaten while swimming. Undeterred, he stripped to his swim trunks and went out for a few laps. A passing Great White Shark, surprised at his luck finding such an easy target, promptly attacked. The man is question was fortunate to survive the attack but lost his right leg and left foot… (see video below) -The first one to say "he was asking for it" has to put on the dunce cap and go sit in the corner for "political incorrectness" and insensitivity.

Have you gotten addicted to the convenience of your ATM debit card? I have. It’s nice to know you can use it when you go out and not have to worry about carrying around a lot of cash (not that I ever have a lot to carry around anyway). Well, say “Thank You” to Bank of America because starting in 2012 we will be paying even more for that convenience. When many of us go get cash we either have to use our banks ATM or pay a fee to the owner of the ATM we’re using (usually $2 or $3) and possibly a fee (another $2) to your bank for using “an out of network ATM”. Well, it seems that is not good enough for Good ‘ol B of A. Starting next year they will be charging a service fee of $5 a month for using your debit card any place, for anything. –and I’ll bet you dollars for doughnuts, if B of A gets away with it, most of the other banks will be tripping over each other to do the same thing.

O.K., I’ll top abusing your senses for today –but be careful –I may be back….
Take Good Care and until next time….

Live Long and Prosper….

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