Saturday, December 12, 2015

I Love Christmas

I love Christmas. To me it is a special time of the year when you feel a little closer to your family and true friends and a little more kindly towards strangers (-that is until they get in front of you at the check-out counter...).

Yes, Christmas, when they start playing those wonderful traditional Christmas songs like White Christmas (I wonder why Al Sharpton has not declared that racist yet?). Yes, every year they start playing them a little earlier (I heard my first one the day after Halloween). And they play those tunes more often (several radio stations started playing them continually, 24/7, right after Thanksgiving). Every year I listen to the music, get a little misty-eyed and cheerful -and then watch my brain turn to butter hearing Jingle Bells over and over and over. 

Do you think Christmas music could actually be some form of devious Oriental torture? Maybe the CIA should consider playing them non-stop instead of using water-boarding.

This year I found myself so fed up with "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" that the next idiot to pass humming it would risk me following Scrooges advice by grabbing the person, boiling them in their own pudding and burying them with a stake of holly through their heart..... Yes, "Hooray" turns to "Humbug" for me around the 300th time I hear Silent Night....

And Christmas decorations -gee I love Christmas decorations. Of course those can get a little carried away too. They can make the homes along the street look so beautiful and cheerful at night -that is, until some neighbor wants to show off and turns the block into something that looks like a carnival at the board walk. There are so many lights on some homes the residents suffer from Sleep Apnea because it’s too bright at night. Your body starts thinking you have a bad case of jet lag...

Personally, I put up a small number of pretty decorations. For example, I have a very small Christmas tree with one string of lights. It takes me 5 minutes to take it out, set it up and turn it on. It’s a nice change from the days when my Mom used to have me digging through the garage to get out 4000 boxes of Christmas decorations and spend entire weekends setting things up, running strings of lights, tracking down and replacing burned out bulbs and hanging decorations (she always wanted one hung 1 foot higher than I could reach on that rickety old ladder).

And then there are all those presents at Christmas time. I love Christmas presents. What a wonderful tradition. By-the-way, I don't know who first said, "It is better to give than receive". But I am sure that got reversed in translation somehow.

Christmas: A time to show your family and friends how much you care. Wow, what hypocrisy. If you really wanted to show how you felt about most of them you'd be buying a lot more coal and a lot fewer fruit cakes. 

When did exchanging presents become so important? It's nice and all that, but when did it become mandatory? After all, it's Jesus's birthday, not ours. What happened to getting him a present? When did we start feeling we had to buy something for Cousin Erin (whom you have not seen in 5 years, on purpose)? Is a present a way of soothing our conscience for being mean to people the rest of the year? I hope not, I don't have enough money to buy my way out of that…

Well, all-in-all Christmas is a wonderful and happy time of the year. I hope you all have a great and special one. As for me, I always look forward to it, and just like the old friend that shows up and stays too long, I am glad to see it go. I'll be ready for it again -as long as I know it'll be at least year until then.

And as soon as Christmas is done, it's time to get ready for New Year’s Eve (which reminds me, I need to get to Booze-R-Us today or tomorrow). 

Anyway, all this is to say Merry Christmas everybody!
God bless us, one and all!

Live Long and Prosper....

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